I’ve got a friend who’s a psychotherapist that specialises in couple’s therapy – he’s a marriage counsellor in other words. Sometimes he tells me about his job – in return for me telling him about my job at the London escort offices – as it’s very interesting in some ways, as well as stressful. Although he gets to learn a lot about people (as well as himself), he also inevitable finds himself caught between warring couples on a daily basis. He has to deal with their complaints, their anger, and their tears and get both parties to see the error of their ways. Much easier said than done! I reckon by the time most people concede that they need some kind of expert help, so much damage has already be done to the relationship that their counsellor has a hell of a lot of work to do in order to try and fix things.
My friend freely admits that he can’t help some couples – other than to help them break-up amicably. Rather than prompting them to return to their previous relationship, he facilitates a split between them that can occur with minimal blame, guilt or resentment. At the end of the day, if people aren’t right for each other then they’re just not right, and no amount of counselling will change that. Often the best thing is for the two people to be brought acceptingly to that realisation so that they can go their separate ways and move on to find happiness with someone else.
Talking about what causes these breakdowns in the first place, my friend says that it’s always to do with errors in communication – i.e. one person refusing ‘to open up’ or fundamental differences between them that stop them from being true ‘soul mates’. Often the couple come into the session with a list of crimes committed by the other person, but a bit of digging show that these later actions are not the basic root of the problem. For example, it’s fairly common for a wife to accuse her husband of having an affair or using an escort girl. While this behaviour can obviously be very damaging to the relationship,
It is not the underlying cause of the problem, only one of many manifestations of it. There must be thousands of people that blame the break-up of their relationship on the fact their partner has been out dating busty escorts in London or blonde escorts in London, but the fact is if it hadn’t been this it would’ve been something else. My friend makes people see that if this kind of behaviour has occurred it’s because there was something very wrong long before – recognising this can help them either reunite or split –up, depending on what’s best for them.
Relationships are complicated, difficult things that do sometimes need an expert eye to make them work. Either that or a London escort who can highlight the fact there’s probably something very wrong about the relationship!