ALWAYS SHARE YOUR POPCORN


There’s nothing worse than going to the cinema on your own. Except maybe getting a tropical disease. Yesterday two mates pulled out at the last minute so I went and saw The Kings Speech on my own thinking it’d be fine. Don’t do it. If this ever happens, you know where to turn- to a London Escort .

Not only do you have to be like “just the one ticket, please” but, apart from getting the full bag of Minstrels to yourself, people look at you like you’re some sort of pervert. Especially if there’s a hot actress involved, which their usually is. Except The Kings Speech, actually, but either way it’s embarrassing. There’s usually a few seats left bare either side of you in case your mates have gone to the loo or to get more Sprite, so you end up sitting through the whole film even more aware of how alone you are. And if there’s a funny bit, everyone turns to each other and laughs. You can’t.

The good thing about London Escorts are that they’re up for anything, including last minute cinema trips. In fact a few of them probably won’t get to see The Kings Speech so probably get on that. Friends are great, but pretty much always unreliable or busy or at home with their wives having to pretend to be interesting in condiments, and if you’re desperate to see that latest Jake Gyllenhaal rom com (hey, we don’t judge) but nobody will go with you/you’re concerned everyone may think you’re gay then dial up one of our lovely London Escorts who will be more than happy to sit through Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal being sub par actors with you. Then boom, you’re not an Anne Hathaway stalking, trench coat wearing pervert. YOU’RE ON A DATE.

The whole dinner and a movie thing is actually surprisingly hard to pull off, so it’s better to be with someone you don’t have to impress. That’s why a stunning Escort beats some hot girl in marketing who gets annoyed when she has to finish her salad in record time so as not to miss the beginning of the movie. Most films start at 7.30 which is the time you would normally be going to dinner. The rest start at 9pm which means there is absolutely no room for lazy waiters or indecisive dates. If she starts umming and aahing over two different brands of lettuce you’re going to have to run, or eat in the cinema complex, which doesn’t impress anyone. Hey babe, forget dinner, I thought I’d buy you crappy nachos for a tenner instead. Which you’ll spill down your dress. Do you want my number? Oh, okay.

This doesn’t happen with a London Escort, because thank god they’re not bothered by stuff like that. It’s hard being a guy. They get it.

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